From the Porch
It's been so hot that.....
Dwight Otwell

Fall is finally here and the temperatures have actually begun to drop.

After our scalding, hot summer, I have to admit that highs that don't quite reach 90 feel good. The outside air feels especially refreshing in the early morning and in the evening.

Can anyone remember a hotter summer? Time dims memories but I don't remember such consistently hot temperatures, day after day, even when I lived in Atlanta or south of Atlanta. It wasn't this hot during the two years worked at a daily newspaper on the coast of Florida. once spent a week in Phoenix, Arizona in June and the temperatures climbed to 112 during the hottest part of the day and the lows struggled to get below 90. But I only spent a week there.

Celia Bray sent me some reminders of just how hot it was this summer. Each statement is preceded by "It is so hot...."

• the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

• the trees are whistling for the dogs.

• the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

• hot water now comes out of both taps.

• you can make sun tea instantly.

• you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

• the temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

• you discover that in August it only takes two fingers to steer your car.

• you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

• you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

• you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

• the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.

• the cows are giving evaporated milk.

• farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.